What’s good timing? We’ve all heard expressions like: Give it some time, time is the best storyteller, sleep on it, or take your time. For some of us have been in sports. As a part-time tennis coach, I always observe my beginner students struggling with hitting the ball on the “sweet spot” or missing it multiple times. I love to tell them to pace themselves which, in other words, means don’t rush into hitting the ball just yet. Sometimes I even count them to simulate that pace. As a physicist is harder to grasp this relative concept of time because it is not absolute. As Albert Einstein stated in his first paper on the Special Theory of Relativity, “despite our common perception that a second is always a second everywhere in the universe, the rate at which time flows depends upon where you are and how fast you are traveling.” Just as Einstein realized this back in the XX century, I, a 26 year old entrepreneur, have been reflecting lately on how relative time is and the impact of it in our daily lives.
I’ve been hit by certain realizations I hope to cover in this piece. I’ll start by stating that this is beyond counting 24 hours in a day and bringing up scientific facts on how each person on Earth has the same amount of seconds in the day to choose what to do with it. This is about a layer or two deeper on how us humans, especially those passionate living ones, view and live time.
People who’ve played sports for a while get the “hang of” the sport. In fact, many pros or coaches throughout sports would tell you is about the timing. Similar enough, in the startup world, a lot of the success of a team raising capital or being successful overall is determined by whether it is the right time for that solution to be in the market or not. But I’ve asked myself repetitively what that timing really means. If you read my previous post my answer to this will not be luck. As a data driven person, I see probabilities for an outcome to occur. The more the repetitions the higher the chance at achieving that outcome or gaining that skill. The form or quality matters but the count already sets you up to improve. It’s statistics! That’s why coaches emphasize practicing so much. Repetitions help with muscle memory and help build the mathematical model we are so living in. But it’s still not my answer to what timing means.
Last year I was gifted some used women’s golf clubs not knowing the impact the sport would start having on me a year later. This year one of my goals was to learn how to golf. In my company industry, golf is an important sport because that’s where “business” takes place. So I joined a community of women golfers called LEGS in Miami and started attending their events. When we hit the range a couple of times, I confronted myself with a truth. I was showing the same behavior I’ve called out every tennis student of mine. I became frustrated and thought about the repetitions speech. As a coach myself, I knew what I was doing wrong but I didn’t have the skills or knowledge to tell myself how to fix it. So I started taking lessons whenever I could.
When I was finding some knowledge and inspiration to write this, I found this definition of time in a science journal called Science alert. The journalist describes time as “a measure of non-stop, consistent change in our surroundings, usually from a specific viewpoint.” The words consistent change and specific viewpoint truly hit me. A couple of days ago, one of my co-founders and I were interviewed to get a spot in a pitch competition at a well-known senior living conference next year. At two different points in the conversation, the interviewer used the words “a little too early” to refer to the stage of our company and to explain why she couldn't guarantee us a spot on the pitch competition just yet. I laughed internally because I had already started writing this. This time it hit differently. It was as though my perception of timing had shifted. All I could feel was appreciation towards hearing those words. Something that wouldn’t have happened a month or two ago. Reflecting on my previous experiences with potential rejections, I would’ve reacted differently. I would’ve asked for feedback or undergo a mental journey after the meeting that would’ve ended in not giving me enough grace for the growth that we’ve made as a company. This time I simply accepted the stage our company is in and I even agreed with the interviewer.
A couple of days ago, I also went to another golf lesson. I somehow had remembered my grip and stance. The coach revisited some terms and emphasize what he wanted us to do and not to do. I grabbed a ball at a time and started hitting them. I made sure to take my time, something I hadn’t done in my previous visits to the range. It took me some time to get into a flow. My moves were slightly robotic to train my brain onto what I was doing. I guess this is what we call the warm up. When I got into a consistent pace, I realized I had made contact with the majority the balls I hit. The coach even asked me if I had been practicing a lot before. To which I responded, “no I just changed my mindset.” I’m sure he thought I was crazy because he truly had no feedback. Just keep going he said, but I had meant what I said.
Thinking about what it means to be in a place at a given time is hard for everyone. It certainly has impacted me because our brains can be all over the place. The other day I heard somewhere, which I had to fact check, that humans make around 35,000 decisions per day. Each of these decisions lead to outcomes/consequences we got to keep deciding on. So, yes it’s difficult to stay present or trust the moment, however you want to call it. So I’ve embarked on this personal journey to find my timing with things. It’s certainly put me in a vulnerable/uncomfortable position with myself as I tend to “just do”. It’s also made me realize things from other viewpoints. Starting with day to day activities like pausing to thinking twice about what I am about to say or do, to shifting my perspective on how my brain wants to do it all when IT IS NOT THE TIME, has humbled me. I was thirteen years old when I heard someone close to me tell me that I should remember that patience is the key. It sounded cliche so I stored it in my memories. From time to time, it would come up in my conversations with other people or even as I was thinking of a situation. Never have I ever thought about how much that phrase fits in all of this. I had to confront myself with hard truths about what is good timing or how much I can actually do to have an outcome that matches that timing. So far slowing down has been helpful. I keep thinking of how Mandela spent twenty seven years in person without seeing his loved ones to continue advocating for a massive movement. I even breath and stop whatever I am doing if I feel the need to pause. Like this writing. I’ve had to get up and hit a pause for a day or two. I initially had a whole plan of publishing it by a date and time. I pushed myself to write and get it done as quickly as I could, then I sat down and I ran low on words, inspiration, and energy. This same post gave me the experience to listen to my surroundings, to shift my perspective, and to fight my living nature of wanting to do it all in one sitting.
Is there good timing? I believe so. Each thought, decision, and action take changes to our surroundings, but they can be viewed differently depending on where you lens is looking from. From a person hitting a golf ball it can feel like four things happening simultaneously, from the observer it can look like one full swing. Good timing can be defined as a specific point in time where an action is performed and a desired outcome is delivered. How you get there or achieve it may be through repetitions and probabilities if we talk about sports. For general circumstances is a mind training game. To me, good timing is more of a reflection of patience. It is a point in time that is achieved only after hitting previous steps. If you skip on step of the process whether the goal is to hit a ball on the “sweet spot”, to reach product market fit for your company, or to wait on something you want to happen, that good timing may never come. I’ve had to fight my thoughts, confront my feelings, and disobey my impulses to become cognizant of these realizations. It hasn’t been pretty but is brought bigger realizations. It isn’t about me, it is about where I am and how I am seeing that situation. I can do certain things to get the desired outcome from the timing but most importantly, I have to shift my perspective if I even want to see any outcome. I have to follow the steps to achieve good timing. I also have to recognize that I’ve gotten started it but this post isn’t the answer or an ending of a process. In fact, I am left with whatever time I’ve got left to find out. So how can you shift your mindset to become more patient? To slow down and look at things from a different angle? My suggestion is through empathy but that will be a topic for another post. Until then, slow down and give yourself some grace!
P.S I wanna acknowledge the following people for allowing me to make these realizations through mentorship, catchy phrases, and gifts.
God for guiding me through this journey called life
Green day for writing Time of your life (good riddance), one of my favorite songs.
People (to many to name) from my company industry and mentors who have recognized what we have accomplished so far but most importantly, for letting us know where we are and what to expect of that stage.
The person who told me: Paciencia es la clave: Patience is the key
The person who gifted me the golf clubs who also taught me many other lessons I’m still processing
All sport coaches out there for seeing the little details and teaching beyond sport skills.
Myself for stepping outside of the comfort and my own ways to grow personally and to learn meaningful lessons that will impact more people around me.